Mideast Crisis Escalates: It’s War, Says Israel (AP)--Schindler’s pissed. And how.

Alex de T.’s Geo-Political "Sudoku" Corner:

The next phase in this reality TV show will involve Israel bombing Syria and then moving on to Iran, allegedly to "take out Hezbollah," but really with an eye on disabling Iran’s nuke works for its Goliath alter-ego, the US. As the situation escalates to global proportions, there’ll be the inevitable face-off. On one side, we’ll see India (they just had their 9/11 in Bombay so everyone’s conveniently riled up and disoriented), together with Pakistan and Israel. On the other side, we’ll see China, Russia, and THEIR proxy North Korea with its twitchy ballistic missiles. That will bring Japan into the picture. Timeline: Sooner than you think. Is this World War III? What's in a name?

Remember, this is about the economy and that’s about oil and superpowerdom. Although it’s stretched beyond thin in Iraq, the US is in its military prime and knows it’s going downhill from here. Twenty/thirty years from now, there will be no stopping China in any military or economic showdown, especially after they’ve stolen all of America's military secrets. So we may as well have High Noon AND Pearl Harbor rolled into one. Thank you, Japan, for that winning strategy. We’ll call this gambit "Shock and Banzai" in your honor.

Oh yeah, everyone is completely insane, of course. But any way you slice it, win or lose (same thing as far as the proles are concerned), we can look forward to living in an unabashedly totalitarian state as long as "terrorism" gathers like lint on the Velcro of your shadow. Welcome to the era of corporate-sponsored serial killer states. Just think, all it took was a ventriloquist’s dummy that looks like Bush to bring it all about. Don’t forget to bring a copy of Ray Bradbury’s "Farenheit 451" with you if you decide to go underground. We’ve already memorized the first paragraph, and WE have ADD. So many books, too much TV.


Chicken lays mystery Allah egg (Reuters)--Virgin Mary head butts chicken, claims chicken bad-mouthed son.