Mom fights to be buried with soldier son (AP)—Next gen human rights: Valhalla steerage class for friends, relatives, gay spouses, pets, and—should we draw the line here?--commercial sponsors and replicas of foreclosed homes before they were repossessed. Why not though? It might make the dead happier and bury prejudice, ignorance, and intolerance where they stand. At least they'd die with peace of mind in the same plot.


Couple's Preparedness Helped Them Survive Three Days in Oregon Forest: Nevada couple said it was GPS directions that led them deep into an Oregon forest (AP)—New service coming soon from mobile providers: The Rapture Option. If the Apocalypse doesn’t happen as prophesied, you get a thousand free extra cell minutes and land naked in a nudist colony for snake handlers.


Phone points illegal border crossers to water (AP)—Neat watercooler app. Which raises the unfortunate possibility that illegal migrants might get hacked to death by interfering Homeland Security vigilantes who lead them deeper into the desert. Would that be murder or patriotism?