Cheney, others OK'd harsh interrogations (AP)—Defendants all rise. Cheney, five-time draft dodger, you are hereby sentenced to wearing an open source pacemaker Made in China. Ashcroft, let us pray (like you do) that there is a God in Heaven. Colin Powell, stem cells to grow your conscience so that you may reflect on the true meaning of dishonor. George Tenet, you are hereby awarded the Medal of Horror. Condoleezza Rice, the Hag of the Hague, severe elephantiasis and a lifetime of window shopping outside shoe stores on Fifth Avenue.


Colin Powell Has Praise for Obama (NYT)—Barack, here’s your chance to prove yourself. Repudiate the praise of this torture general and Powerpoint liar of the UN.


China rages over attack on disabled torch bearer (Reuters)—Sometimes the worst disabilities are innate.