Chertoff rips phony Homeland Security Press Conference (AP)--Must have mixed up the headlines with the classifieds section.


Gap vows action after child labor report (AP)--We recommend XL hara-kiri for using children as slave labor. If they didn’t know, they should have checked their spy-cams in their sweatshops. GAP, the new acronym for "Greedy Adult Pedophiles."


French president walks out of ’60 Minutes’ interview (AFP)--No wonder ex-wife Cecilia couldn’t take a minute longer with Napoleozy. This guy’s miming Marcel Marceau’s miming of George W.