New Al Qaeda Web Ad Threatens 'Big Surprise' (CBS)--Shocking revelation: Cheney used ventriloquism to speak through Bush’s polyps.


Number of Americans moving to Canada At 30-Year High Record (CBS)--Just wait ‘till they need coyotes to help them cross the border into Mexico.


Minister In Skirt Charged With Indecent Exposure (WGAL)--Praise the Lewd and pass the mascara.